Practicing Generosity as part of Advent

My four-year-old daughter, Clara, is extremely creative and hungry for life. She puts her creative mind to use when it comes to asking for dozens if not hundreds of Christmas presents. This happens in the usual places like walking past the toy section at Target, or when playing with friends who have cool toys, clothes, or accessories… or even when I show her my work boots (“I wish I had boots like that!”). It also happens whenever she has a moment of quiet to think about all the things she loves and wants.

This always makes me feel uncomfortable, and it’s hard to know how to respond. Part of me wants to burst out, “why are you so selfish? Can’t you just be happy with what you have?!” which I know would not be a helpful reaction. More than that, it’s probably not the lesson she needs to learn, either.

I decided this Christmas we should do a family budgeting session to help Clara see more of the big financial picture (you know, the “money doesn’t grow on trees” concept). We decided on a total gift budget, then got a big poster-board and taped pictures of the family members and friends we are getting gifts for. Then we used a stack of pennies to represent how much money we were budgeting for each person. We had a couple ideas for being generous to people in greater need this year, too, and those got some representative pennies next to them. I intended this to be a practical way to start explaining more about how life and spending works and why we can’t buy her every single thing she asks for. A few days after, I started to realize some more of the spiritual implications these kinds of discussions and exercises can have. 

True, sacrificing love comes at a cost, and the giver pays it with joy, even though it often hurts on some level.

When I was in college, I asked a former high school teacher to support me financially (again) for a mission trip. After buying me lunch at my favorite Mexican restaurant, he told me how much he was going to give me, and it struck me as a generous amount, especially for a high school teacher in our small town. After I thanked him, he said something that I now think about all the time. “No problem; I’ll just referee a few more basketball games this month.” His reaction showed me that it cost him something to be generous to me, and he was happy to do it. This is what I want our kids to see and learn from us about how much we love them, and more importantly how much Jesus loves them. True, sacrificing love comes at a cost, and the giver pays it with joy, even though it often hurts on some level.

I’ve been feeling an increasing sense of deep spiritual exhaustion deep down in my soul for a few years. God has been teaching me over the last few months that I’m exhausted with worry. Jesus has been repeatedly taking me back to his words about worry. In Luke 12, Jesus instructs us not to worry about worldly things such as food and clothing, but to seek first his kingdom, and all these things will be added to us. He then goes on to instruct us to sell our possessions and give to the needy. That second part doesn’t feel as good, so I’ve typically tried to focus on the first part about not worrying. Lately, however, I’ve started to see the connection in being generous, sacrificially loving, and seeing my worries and exhaustion fade away. 

“I’ve started to see the connection in being generous, sacrificially loving, and seeing my worries and exhaustion fade away. ”

I believe in an emergency fund, and I know there's a balance of being responsible with money and generous at the same time. I know that can look very different for every individual and family. What God is teaching me is to not put my hope and trust in my savings account but in him, and to release my grip on some of those funds often for the sake of others and, ultimately, my own heart.

As we give away possessions, money, time, or anything that is valuable to us, especially as we feel the cost of that generosity, we are fighting a spiritual battle that can defeat worry, selfishness, tiredness, and waning faith. In this, we have a supreme example in Jesus Christ. 

Do not be concerned about your own interests, but also be concerned about the interests of others. Have the same attitude among yourselves that was also in the Messiah Jesus:

In God's own form existed he, and shared with God equality, deemed nothing needed grasping.

Instead, poured out in emptiness, a servant's form did he possess, a mortal man becoming. 

In human form he chose to be, and lived in all humility, death on a cross obeying.

Now lifted up by God to heaven, a name above all others given, this matchless name possessing.

And so, when Jesus' name is called, the knees of everyone should fall wherever they're residing.

Then every tongue in one accord, will say that Jesus the Messiah is Lord, while God the Father praising.

- Philippians 2:4-11 (ISV)

Together, let’s start to incorporate regular practices of giving, involving the whole family, for all of our benefit, and for the glory of God.